Here are some of the best quotes by john mulaney that you will fall in love with .
John Edmund Mulaney (brought into the world August 26, 1982), is an American professional comic, entertainer, author and maker.
He is most popular for his work as an author on Saturday Night Live and as a professional comic with stand-up specials The Top Part, New around, The Comeback Kid, and Kid Gorgeous, for which he won the Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing for a Variety Special in 2018.
Here are 100 best john mulaney quotes that you will love :
1. Excuse me: I am homeless. I am gay. I have AIDS. I’m new in town –John Mulaney.
2. It is 100% easier not to do things than to do them, and so much fun not to do them – especially when you were supposed to do them. In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin- John Mulaney.
3. I look back on being 17 and think, ‘Oh my God, how did I not die? –John Mulaney.
4. Why do people shush animals? They’ve never spoken – John Mulaney.
5. I was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table – John Mulaney.
6. I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting – John Mulaney.
7. I never knew you were supposed to push off of your feet when you walked. And I tried it, and I walked much faster – John Mulaney.
8. I’m a very lucky person. I’m an idiot, and I’ve shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don’t feel like I deserve good treatment – John Mulaney.
9. In terms of, like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin – John Mulaney.
10. You can do good work simply staying up all night and eating nothing but junk food, but probably not in the long term – John Mulaney.
11. It’s nice when you’re nervous and everybody’s like, “Yeah, you should be nervous.” Because a lot of times you’re anxious and people say, “Relax. Shut up.” And that just feels like, Well, I guess I’m also crazy – John Mulaney.
12. I just watched a ton of comedy and saw a ton of different styles, and eventually you think, ‘Oh, yeah, I could be like that – John Mulaney.
13. If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them [the n-word], that’s the worse word – John Mulaney.
14. I think for many of us – speaking for just a pocket of the country – we trusted Obama. So when you leave your baby with your mom to watch, you don’t run home and check the nanny cam. But now we’ve left the baby with Gary Busey, so we’re going to be a lot more on it – John Mulaney.
15. My childhood was completely dominated by Bill Clinton and the OJ trial. I don’t think we had a family dinner where one didn’t come up – John Mulaney.
16. Things don’t exist until they exist – John Mulaney.
17. Comfort is everything. You start doing something and you want it to be perfect right away, but most babies are born ugly and then they shake it out and you get beautiful toddlers – John Mulaney.
18. All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don’t understand it – John Mulaney.
19. I like making fun of myself a lot. I like being made fun of, too. I’ve always enjoyed it. There’s just something really, really funny about someone tearing into me – John Mulaney.
20. I like to turn on the TV and watch whatever’s on. Nick Kroll does that a lot. He doesn’t watch important shows. He’ll just turn on a documentary on Mia Hamm and watch it for an hour. Whatever’s on, we watch – John Mulaney.
21. I plan to join the ‘SNL’ band as a maraca player and stand behind saxophonist Lenny Pickett. That way they will at least cut to me before commercial breaks. I’ll be sure to look right into camera – John Mulaney.
22. People having expectations maybe means they’ve enjoyed what I’ve done – John Mulaney.
23. Occasionally you get that one person that says “I really like that one part of this joke” and you go, “Oh thank you that’s my favorite part too.” But no, in order for it to be authentic hopefully you have jokes that everyone can just get on board with and then you have a few things for yourself – John Mulaney.
24. I was new to acting on a stage in a narrative as opposed to acting on a stage as a stand-up. And like everything else it’s just like comfort level. The first time I did stand-up I was at a place called the B3 in New York on Third and Avenue B and I not only didn’t take the mic out of the stand, but I clutched the stand of the entire time – John Mulaney.
25. You all have a relative who is an expert even though they really don’t know what they’re talking about – John Mulaney.
26. I’ve always believed that you often need less. You don’t need to hear why people are friends, you don’t need to hear why people are roommates, you don’t need to hear why someone would help a friend to do something – John Mulaney.
27. Stand-up for me is just my opinions on things, so it wouldn’t be as fun translated into a sketch. Nor would a sketch be as fun if it were me standing there saying it – John Mulaney.
28. There are a lot of great jokes you can sit down and write, but that’s just a written joke, versus the comedy of the situation. Ideally, you’re pulling as much comedy out of the situation as you can – John Mulaney.
29. Maybe I just have high self-esteem, but I have a lot that I really enjoy – John Mulaney.
30. I stopped drinking when I was 23. I kind of started when I was 13, so it was a 10-year run. But I just became a bad, annoying drunk child, so when I stopped, I’d done a lot of things I wasn’t proud of – John Mulaney.
31. I kind of thought, wouldn’t it be funny to take a swing at being on the weird side of mainstream? – John Mulaney.
32. I definitely look like a toddler. I feel comfortable and I have a lot of fun out there [John Mulaney Show]. And if I were to be extremely egotistical, I’d say I got a tiny bit better – John Mulaney.
33. As I got into high school and after puberty, I was a little more inward. I was a real extrovert when I was little, but I don’t know, I just got quieter… With my friends, I was still an extrovert – John Mulaney.
34. It’s important to remember that life is a joke and that outlook grants a lot of perspective, but I don’t think comedy should change and become political due to other things. It should just laugh at that cosmic joke that life is all the time – John Mulaney.
35. I really set out to do this traditional looking and traditional sounding multi-cam sitcom, but then make the world as elastic as an animated show could be. Make the world as surreal as we wanted it to be – John Mulaney.
36. I remember writing standup jokes without having done sets. But as soon as I did my first set, it didn’t matter. Everything I thought would work didn’t work. And everything I was iffy on was funny – John Mulaney.
37. It was funny to be an emcee, because you’re so at the mercy of the club. You can show up for the weekend hoping to get the $400 – and get fired. I had to prank whoever they told me to prank – John Mulaney.
38. I’m a very straightforward person. But that’s fine for a comedian. Because a lot of times you’re talking about everyone else – John Mulaney.
39. Being president looks like the worst job in the world – John Mulaney.
40. You can’t always see both sides of the story. Eventually, you have to pick a side and stick with it. No more equivocating. You have to commit – John Mulaney.